Army-Navy Game to be renamed 'Suckers vs. Losers Bowl'
By Bad Lawyer
WASHINGTON — The Defense Secretary on Tuesday ordered the Army-Navy Game renamed to Suckers vs. Losers Bowl in order to better reflect White House policy changes toward the military.
“President Donald J. Trump supports our military 100%,” said Defense Secretary Mark Esper. “He knows these suckers and losers serve with honor and distinction.”
The latest move by the Pentagon chief follows a string of controversial pro-Trump stances taken in recent months, including Esper blaming Navy Capt. Brett Crozier for the Covid-19 pandemic in July, and his controversial re-tweet of Twitter user “MAGAfan#1QANoNWhitePowerBill” in August.
Trump immediately praised the decision as “Yesper’s most brilliant move.”
“Unlike dying for one’s country, obvious ass-kissing is something I can understand and appreciate,” said Trump, who then pledged to spend $70 million of the defense budget updating Lincoln Financial Field for the game. “We need to add a separate entrance and balcony for the amputees …
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