FORT BLISS, Texas — A howl of joyous laughter rattled the dusty windows of the 5/52 Air Defense Artillery Battalion building Tuesday as 1st. Lt. Andrew Lapp leapt from his small work station in the corner of the empty S-3 shop.

Sources reported that the junior officer, who has been driven to mental extremis from the constant verbal and physical harassment of his supervisor Maj. Thomas Hale, proceeded to dance like a satyr around the filthy confines of the office, shouting at the top of his lungs.

“At last!” Lapp cried, ecstatic tears running down his prematurely aged face, “It is so beautiful! Oh God, most merciful Creator of the Heavens and Earth, thank you for blessing me with this almighty privilege! Verily I have looked upon a reflection of the Lord, and it is good!”