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Army · Page 4

Army replaces benefits with rolled sleeves

By Duffel Blog Staff · Army Bureau · 1 minute

Filed 5 October 2022 · 1537

THE PENTAGON – The U.S. Army announced yesterday that it will replace all service-earned benefits with allowing soldiers to roll their sleeves.

“We’ve thought about this for a long time and it’s just the right thing to do,” said Army Chief of Staff Gen. Mark Milley as he pointed at a poorly-drawn bar chart on his desk.

“It also just so happens that the higher the sleeves go, the more benefits are cut, BAH? Forget about it, retirement? No.”

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For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Army replaces benefits with rolled sleeves

Also on this page

Army FRG unveils haunted house featuring spouses saying ‘I’m fine’

Hasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-Con

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

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