Award Downgraded By Recommender

FORT BELVOIR, Va. — Sgt. Michael Malloy's Army Commendation Medal has been downgraded to an Army Achievement Medal by his recommender, a source within 29th Infantry Division personnel reports.

“We are refuting all accusations from Sgt. Malloy,” said Maj. Sarah Thomas, 29th Special Troops Battalion S-1. “It is completely untrue that we have been trying to organize, limit, or otherwise make awards fair in this command. There’s basically a punchbowl of ARCOMs for this AT, and we’re completely baffled why Sgt. Malloy is getting anything out of that sugar stash of chest candy.”

Malloy made queries as to the status of his award at several drill weekends, and was surprised to learn it had not been downgraded by a higher level command but by his own recommender.

“This is not the result of some kind of Battalion-wide policy on awards or getting kickback at Brigade,” said 1st Lt. Jesse Patrick of his failure to check the box marked ARCOM on the DA 638, even if it was the same amount of work for him as an AAM. “I simply think that Sgt. Malloy hasn’t earned an ARCOM.”

Patrick was seen watching "Band of Brothers" and drinking beer while working on the awards write-ups, which allegedly contributed to his sudden crisis of conscience where he could "no longer equate filing maintenance inspection sheets with Operation Overlord, or even Market Garden.”

Several witnesses within the maintenance section testified that Malloy did a fine job at annual training, but nothing particularly exemplary. In fact, though he completed the majority of his duties to some kind of standard, most found Malloy’s attitude and personal grooming to be below standard. However, all sources interviewed confirmed that not putting Malloy in for an ARCOM was, at best, "a dick move."

“I’m still putting him in for an Army Achievement Medal,” confirmed Patrick. “I’m not a monster.”

Malloy was last seen trying to convince his first sergeant and fishing buddy to resubmit the award with the necessary corrections.

“In fact, upon closer consideration of Malloy’s contributions, it only made me value my own service more,” said Patrick. “[Malloy] only got as far as he did because he had clear guidance from me and a lot of hand-holding from NCOs. I’ll be using the administrative time that could have gone to Sgt. Malloy on my own award. Lord knows if he would have had a SHARP violation I’d get blamed for it.”