Ballet-Dancer Turned Officer Pirouettes Into TOC

FORT HOOD, Texas — Capt. Todd Bolshoi, deputy operations officer at the 3-23rd Infantry Regiment (light) gave a battle update brief so laced with metaphor it rendered the scheme of maneuver incomprehensible and thoroughly confused the collected staff, witnesses have reported.

“Bravo Company 2nd Platoon will be the reserve unit with faint in a second posi…