Battalion Divided On How To Spend Entire $3.5 Million Budget By Friday

JOINT BASE LEWIS-MCCHORD, Wash. – A comical mixture of laziness and bureaucratic ineptitude on the part of disillusioned staff has resulted in the 1st Battalion of the 16th Combat Aviation Brigade being mandated to spend their entire $3.5 million quarterly budget in one week or lose all of the money.

“A matter of this criticality necessitated immediate a…