SAN DIEGO — Recent Marine Corps boot camp graduate Pvt. Thomas Leary, who has never owned an automobile and until several weeks ago did not even have his own checking account, is now ready for marriage, according to sources close to the 18-year-old.

“Tommy is so excited to be out on his own,” Leary’s mother Barbara told reporters. “He's been browsing cars to buy ever since we picked him up,” referring to the 2017 Ford Raptor truck that her son was preparing to purchase at a 19.3% interest rate.

“But I think Tommy’s got a certain something else on his mind as well,” she remarked with a gleam in her eye, adding that her son was “so mature for his age.”