WASHINGTON — Capt. Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, has been formally counseled by his commander for accumulating 2,042.5 days of unused leave, sources confirmed today.

"We’ve had a lot of growing pains with Capt. Rogers," said Lt. Col. Bill Traxton, Rogers' commander. "The guy thinks he doesn’t have to show up for PT formation. If the pissed off captains in the S3 have to show up for PT, so does Captain Rogers.”

“I had to fight hard just to get this guy to not be declared AWOL a few years back. I’m not going to bat for him again," Traxton said. "You can’t just sleep in an iceberg for 67 years without reporting to higher where your location is. I had to fill out over 100 pages of paperwork just to wave Captain Roger’s retention control point paperwork. He’s the oldest serving military member. You know how many times a year a guy like that has to update his MEDPROS? Don’t even get me started on DEERS. This is my second command and it’s a nightmare.”