Car Totaled After Striking Marine Wearing Reflective Belt

CAMP PENDLETON, Calif.—The moment that installation commanders have been claiming would happen has finally taken place: A Marine wearing a reflective belt has been hit by a car. The car was totaled; the Marine and his reflective belt were completely fine.

The event took place early this morning, as Sgt. Darrius Harington was running on some random road, as Marines do. And, like a real Marine, Sgt. Harington was wearing his reflective belt.

The vehicle is estimated to have been careening at a blistering 18 mph, exceeding the the speed limit by almost 2o percent.

Upon impact, Sgt. Harington was unmoved, even able to face the vehicle at the final moment, charging toward his metal enemy like a real Marine.

Nothing remains of the vehicle, except for the front driver seat and the steering column. The driver survived, but has learned a vital lesson about the power of reflective belts.

Lt. Gen. Joseph Osterman issued a statement about the event this morning, noting, “Decades of forcing our Marines to wear stretchy glitter bands around their bodies have truly paid off. Now that the secret is out, we’re looking at integrating the reflective belts in combat operations, on Gators and Osepreys. It’s about time we bring this tech into the field.”

Joe Zieja contributed to this article.