Report: Sun to be in your eyes during change-of-command ceremony

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SAN DIEGO — According to sources, Coast Guard Sector San Diego personnel will hold a change of command ceremony on base today at 1100 this morning. However, the whole crew in formation will be staring directly at the blazing sun for the entire 6 hour duration.

Incoming Commanding Officer of the Sector Capt. Mikael McGriff will take over for Capt. Jonathan Spaner. Both have planned to speak for more than an hour about the well-being of the crew and how the strength of the Coast Guard is in its people.

Meanwhile, everyone’s eyes will be burning through their skulls as hours worth of UV rays are blasted directly at their faces.

In addition to the incoming and outgoing officers, Rear Adm. Todd Bailey, District Eleven (D11), will participate in the event as the guest speaker and overseeing officer.

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

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