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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

0737 Zulu

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← Front page
Army · Page 4

Army disbands chaplain Corps, says military is 'no place for superstition'

Filed · 1542

THE PENTAGON — The U.S. Army will phase out its Chaplain Corps over the next three years, according to a leaked memo from the office of the Undersecretary of the Army For Diversity and Inclusion. The document suggests that the change will be in line with an as-yet undisclosed Presidential initiative to “completely desegregate” the military.

Questions to the White House on this new initiative went unanswered, but West Wing staff confirmed on background that the administration is currently focus-grouping a policy shift toward a religion-free, sexuality-neutral military.

Referencing the recent repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the all-army memorandum (called an ALARACT) says the Army will “lead the way in further bringing the military into a future where all servicemembers are free of bigotry, exclusion and intolerance, and where all identities, family structures and lifestyles are celebrated and supported equally.”

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