YOKOSUKA, Japan — Wishing all men were half the man he is, steadfast sources aboard the USS George Washington (CVN-73) confirmed today that Operations Specialist 1st Class Jeremy Leer is an unparalleled bastion of masculine gentility.

Proclaiming he is incontestably without equal, the Washington’s entire female compliment unanimously agreed that the debonair Leer is hands down the most gallant and chivalrous gentleman to ever cross their path, especially if that path happened to be in the restricted confines of a crowded passageway or in a small, dimly-lit space.

“I usually see him in the gym, and I can always feel his eyes on me, especially when I’m doing squats or my yoga routine,” gushed Lt. j.g. Patricia Stewart. “It’s really comforting … like, he has my back, you know?”