Coast Guardsman enlists to protect and defend Cheddar Bay

Some things are worth protecting at all costs.

By Blondes Over Baghdad

DUBUQUE, Iowa — High School Senior Ryan Masterson enlisted in the Coast Guard today with a pledge to support and defend Cheddar Bay against all enemies, foreign and domestic.

“I was at Red Lobster before my senior prom, and was served the most delectable biscuit I had ever eaten,” Masterson told his recruiter. “I asked where these …

This post is for paying subscribers