Aide Catches USAFE Commander Trying To Sneak Out Again

RAF MILDENHALL, UK — An Air Force enlisted aide has caught his commander trying to sneak out of the base hotel again, Duffel Blog has confirmed.

General Frank Gorenc, who currently serves as head of U.S. Air Forces Europe and U.S. Air Forces Africa, has been in hot water since flying in to RAF Mildenhall yesterday, when he tried to slink off the plane in civilian clothes and avoid interacting with Col. Tomas Torkelson, the 100th Air Refueling Wing commander. Since then, he has tried sneaking off-base on several occasions, only to be caught by his security detail each time.

"I've told the general multiple times that he can't just go running off like that without informing us," said Staff Sgt. Derrick Fields, who serves as Gorenc's personal assistant and aide. "If he wants to go sight-seeing after his official duties, he needs to let us know ahead of time so we can make arrangements and go with him. We wouldn't want him getting lost off-base with no way back."

Gorenc had a strong reaction to the situation.

"You dang kids! Let go of me, will ya?" General Gorenc yelled, as he was carried away by his guards after being caught in the planter just below his window. "Didn't your parents ever teach you respect for your elders? I'll have all of you fired and transferred to the Army!"

Gorenc grew quiet as Fields directed the guards to put their commander into a windowless white van parked in front of the hotel, which promptly drove off.

Sources report that Gorenc is currently grounded from leaving base altogether, outside of official business, until it's time to return to Ramstein.