Commander lets staff leave before 1900, loses war

FORT LEE, Va. — Lt. Col. Wendell Bowers caused the United States to lose the Global War on Terror this week after he allowed his S3 section leave prior to 1900 hours one evening, sources confirm today.

“Next week, we will publicly surrender to the Taliban, the Islamic State, and several other B-list terrorist groups, because some so-called leader couldn’…