Commander of ForceyMcSpaceFace deeply regrets crowdsourcing branch name
WASHINGTON, Planet Earth – The first Chief of Space Operations, Gen. John Raymond, deeply regrets crowdsourcing the name for America’s newest military branch, according to sources.
“I thought it would be a fun way to get young airmen involved in the process,” lamented the general, who sources say has never spoken to a young airman or been on the internet.
The voting process was conducted via an app made by the same company that ran the Iowa Caucuses. Among the finalists were “Spicy NASA,” “Deeznutz Patrol,” and “Elongated Muskrat 2: Revenge of ‘ole Musky part 5/7, Electric Boogaloo,” but ultimately “ForceyMcSpaceFace” rose to the top.
In addition, voters overwhelmingly demanded that the service’s uniform nametapes be written in Comic Sans with alternating font colors and capitalization, which was not even an option on the survey. Officials suspect that the “infamous hacker 4chan” is behind the debacle, but allegedly are too fearful that negating the results of the contest will hurt the m…
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