Commander relieved for tolerating normal human fallibility and error

Of course we lost trust and confidence in this guy.

By Cat Astronaut

CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. – A Marine Corps commanding officer was relieved this week after demonstrating a “total lapse of judgment” by tolerating completely normal and unavoidable amounts of human fallibility and error in his Marines.

Lt. Col. Todd Greene had served as a battalion commander for nearly a year before higher leadership noticed “alarming levels of empathy and level-headed understanding” within his command.

“Lt. Col. Greene was relieved after the division commander lost trust and confidence in his ability to lead,” said 2nd Marine Division spokesman Capt. Michael Diaz. “His lack of archaic delusions about what constitutes leadership and discipline makes him unfit to lead Marines.”


After hearing that one of his subordinates made a small mistake that is common and inevitable in the course of daily life, witnesses say Greene opted to speak with the Marine frankly and compassionately to help him learn from the mistake and move on, rather than blindly punishing him and ending his career.

“It was shocking,” said Sgt. Maj. Kelvin Pepperdine. “I saw him speak to this Marine as if it was an actual human being, without ever once mentioning ‘making an example of him’ or ‘crushing his nuts.’ And I thought to myself, ‘I cannot work for this person anymore.’”

While Marine Corps policy clearly states that officers are required to prioritize their ego and career over the well-being of their Marines, a few nonconformists like Greene have opted to put genuine human decency first, often to their own detriment.

“We expect our commanders to be merciless automatons in the garrison the same way we expect them to be in combat,” said 2nd Marine Division Commander Maj. Gen. Francis L. Donovan. “If you’re not going to punish every insignificant little error with swift and unfeeling justice to make sure your ass is covered when it comes time for the next promotion board, then it’s probably time for you to retire.”

At press time, the Commandant of the Marine Corps fired Maj. Gen. Donovan for not rooting out Lt. Col. Greene’s nontoxic behavior sooner.

Cat Astronaut is a demobilized mobile infantryman and the creator of Ye Olde Tyme News. Grumpy contributed reporting.

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