Congressman avoids eye contact with Generals panhandling outside his office

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CAPITOL HILL — Democratic Congressman Adam Smith narrowly avoided eye contact last week with a group of service chiefs panhandling in the halls of the House Office Building, sources confirmed today.

“Excuse me, sir, my ships ran out of gas on the way to the Taiwan Strait,” a bedraggled Adm. Mike Gilday, Chief of Naval Operations moaned to the congressman. “Can you spare a few billion dollars?”

Though Smith, the chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, pretended not to hear their pleas as he walked toward his office, they only grew louder and more desperate.

“Sir, SIR! Our 5th generation fighter program broke down earlier this year!” Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Charles Brown said with heavy eyes. “We just need another $1.5 trillion to get it back on its feet.

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

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