The following is an op-ed written by the person who's made your life a living hell over the last four years.

Hey, let's talk. I hear you're getting out and you need to think about re-enlisting. You know me, I'm the boss who's made your life a living hell from the moment we met, and I think we're great friends.

The military needs hard workers like you. I screwed you over for years and took credit for everything you did because I was trying to get the most out of you. Remember that time I had everyone wait until after working hours to start working so nobody would be there to question what you were doing?

Yeah, I don't have faith in my leadership or the people under my command. You should stick around and let me lead you some more.