Private who crashed fuel truck not even playing Pokémon GO this time

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Army Pvt. Raymond Kessler, responsible for the twenty-third crash of a military vehicle since the release of Pokémon GO last week, was somehow not even playing the game, sources report.

“I learned my lesson after my last two Pokémon GO crashes,” Kessler said during his burn treatments. “Although I would have rather been chasing down th…