Crime Rates Near Air Force Bases Plummet As Vigilante Airmen Seek Promotions
MAXWELL AFB, Ala.— Crime rates both in and around Air Force bases are dropping at a shocking rate, according to new police statistics released this week. Most are crediting the change to the roving bands of enlisted airmen that have been combing the streets attempting to find dangerous situations and crimes in progress.
The movement follows the announcement that the Air Force would promote Airman First Class Spencer Stone two ranks to Staff Sergeant due to his heroic efforts to stop a terrorist from gunning down passengers on a train in Paris. Other enlisted troops rushed to follow suit.
"Have you ever tried to study for a WAPS test?" Airman 1st Class Mark Cummings said as he zip-tied a shoplifter in Montgomery, Alabama, near his home of Maxwell AFB. "This is way easier, not to mention faster."
Cummings is not alone among airmen that see it as a ray of hope in a difficult evaluation environment.
"I'll never make staff sergeant on my own," another airman on scene said. "Can't do a pushup. …
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