Annoyed parents wish deadbeat son would get off the sofa and join ISIS already

MOSUL, Iraq — Grumbling indiscernibly and exchanging telling glares, local parents Hamza and Fatima Abadi expressed for the thousandth time their desire for the household’s resident couch potato to “go out and do something already.”

“Maybe join ISIS,” Hamza added.

“He hasn’t moved in seven hours,” says Fatima, whose unconditional, maternal love died long …