Scientists trace origin of the Dependapotomus to Galapagos

BUENOS AIRES — Scientists have uncovered what they believe to be the earliest remains of the modern-day dependapotomus, Duffel Blog has learned.

“Originally, I thought they were just the petrified remains of an ordinary manatee. But then I saw it was clutching six human babies, a half liter of Diet Pepsi, and a giant jar of cheeseballs. That’s when I kne…