PHILADELPHIA, PA - Tragedy and triumph describe the most bitter fought Army-Navy football battle in history yesterday, which resulted in victory for Army, who used a unique mixture of football tactics along with high-tech weaponry to defeat Navy with a final score of 0-0.

The rivalry between the service academies of West Point and Annapolis has never been more tense. Yesterday's victory marks the first Army victory over Navy in a decade.

"We realized going into this matchup that we needed to develop a better strategy," said West Point Head Coach Rich Ellerson. "So we took a serious look at their defense and realized they had a huge weakness that we could exploit."

Ellerson explained that his epiphany helped him understand fundamental differences in Army vs. Navy doctrine.

"The fact is that when you're learning how to drink martinis while driving a carrier at the Naval Academy, there isn't much time to teach defensive fortifications."

This realization helped the Army team to adopt an unusua…