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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 130 · Sunday, 1 November 2026

Veterans

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

DHS praises seasonal retailer's expertise in occupying abandoned buildings and disappearing overnight

Army FRG unveils haunted house featuring spouses saying ‘I’m fine’

Hasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-Con

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Vol. 15 · No. 130

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 130 · Deployed worldwide

Sunday

1 November 2026

1029 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Desperate quarantined Jody forced to bang own wife

Filed · 1550

SAN DIEGO – Tim Chen, an accomplished Jody servicing the wives of the U.S. Navy pacific fleet, has been forced into banging his own wife due to social distancing measures during COVID-19.

“I’m approaching this with patience and innovation,” said Chen. “I’m willing to corrupt a deployed sailor’s wife over zoom, sexting, or even Microsoft Teams. However, with the stop movement order delaying TDYs, training exercises, and ill-advised geo-baching decisions, for the time being I’ve been #SaferAtHome. Even if that means I might have to bang my own wife.”

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