THE PENTAGON — The Department of Defense has confirmed the authenticity of the latest round of documents published by anti-secrecy website WikiLeaks as highly-insensitive information not intended for public release, sources said today.

Pentagon spokesmen identified the alleged source of the leaks as Mark Stevens, a former IT contractor and “kind of a dick.”

Totaling 92 pages, the insensitive information leaked by Stevens appears to center mostly around office gossip at the DoD facility where he worked. As an IT administrator, Stevens had access to dozens of employees’ email conversations and web search histories.

“Gloria dresses as if she’s at least four sizes smaller than she actually is. Who does she think she’s kidding? Nobody wants to see her stomach every time she reaches for something at eye-level,” reads one leaked email conversation.

“Cindy tries too hard to make people like her; she’s been so desperate since the divorce. It’s pathetic,” reveals another email from the same sender.

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