WASHINGTON — The Defense Department unveiled a new, uniquely equipped, special-operations-capable unit formed for the specific purpose of combating the global ISIS threat at a recent Pentagon press briefing this week.
Known as Force Omicron, the unit is comprised of all the crazies, conspiracy theorists, ninjas, alien abductees, and suspected serial killers normally spread throughout the ranks of the regular armed forces.
"Their unusual abilities make them ideally suited for this very special force of operators," Pentagon Spokesman Col. Steve Warren told reporters. "Usually every unit has a couple of them, and they drive everyone nuts. By combining them into this single organization, we have the ability to use them to drive America's enemies nuts instead."
Army Pvt. Jimmy Driscol was recruited half way through basic training after revealing his father had been with the CIA, taking him on summer boat trips to conduct ninja training. He is capable of turning himself invisible but admits, "It only works on less aware beings like deer or other privates."
