THE PENTAGON — During a Friday morning press briefing, the Department of Defense unveiled a new meal-ready-to-eat specifically designed to meet the nutritional needs and interests of pregnant service members.

“With the increase in missions in the past year, the Department of Defense is working hard to recruit and retain service,” said Pentagon spokesman Jonathan Hoffman. “So we’re debuting some new MREs to offer food that appeals to a variety of groups. For example, our new pregnancy support MRE comes with chocolate-covered bacon-flavored strawberries, fried chicken—but not the greasy kind—and ice cream right now, goddammit.”

According to Hoffman, the MRE was a big hit among all testing groups except vegans during the testing phase, and many units are requesting access.