This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Budget cuts force defense to downsize Pentagon to a square
THE SQUAREAGON – The Department of Defense will cutting the Pentagon into a square to comply with budget cuts, according to sources close to Defense Secretary Ashton Carter. The Army Corps of Engineers will begin construction this summer, in accordance with cost-reduction policies mandated by Congress.
“Look, those Congressional asshats ordered us to reduce our headquarters by 20 percent,” Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Joseph Dunford explained. “So I am complying and making my headquarters into a perfect square.”
More Stories
Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters
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Trump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North Korea
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Air Force IG uncovers SNACKOs taking kickbacks from Big Insulin
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Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
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Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
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Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
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