PYONGYANG — North Korean plans to train a new crop of rocket scientists soon after it executes its current cadre following its next failed ballistic missile launch, sources confirmed today.

Dear Leader Kim Jong Un, who according to sources, was born of a dragonfly and a double rainbow, has demanded that his scientists and researchers sacrifice their utmost to create the capability to annihilate the rest of the world.

In keeping with this order, Pyongyang recruiters have conducted wide-ranging searches of the nation for the least nutrient-deprived minds, in order to form a new scientific cohort that can master the basics of nuclear physics and rocket propulsion.