Duffel Blog Presents: The Top 5 excuses for avoiding a retirement ceremony

"I was giving Medusa a ride and accidentally looked at her and now I’m stone."

By Slab Squatthrust

YOUR BASE — It happens every year. We’re minding our own business when suddenly that staff sergeant or chief petty officer who made your life a living hell so many years ago has asked you to attend their inevitable retirement ceremony. If you frequently find yourself dreading the very sight of the NCO who puts the “petty” in “petty of…