Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 117

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

0422 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Veterans · Page 2

'Dysfunctional veteran’ actually just dysfunctional

Filed · 1535

ENID, Okla. — Area man and self-proclaimed “dysfunctional veteran” Tad Wilkins has been determined to be just the former, sources have confirmed.

According to several friends, family members, and acquaintances, Wilkins seems to always be playing up his military service in everyday life — especially on veteran-oriented holidays — despite the fact that he washed out in Air Force Basic Military Training and never even made it to tech school, much less his first deployment.

“The guys I met in the military were some of the finest folks I’ve ever worked with,” says the college-aged male who was pulled out of training before finishing Week 4. “The camaraderie one finds in a group of people who eat, sleep, and endure hardship together is almost unparalleled in the civilian world.”

Wilkins seems to take pride in his time in the Air Force, brief though it was. The wall of his room, located below his parents’ house, is adorned with posters showcasing America’s various special operations forces; his wardrobe is full of 5.11 Tactical cargo-pants and veteran-themed t-shirts from Grunt Style and Dysfunctional Veterans.

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!