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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Monday, 28 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 116

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Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

28 September 2026

1117 Zulu

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· Page 2

E-7 caught field stripping for tips

Filed · 1550

FORT CARSON, Co. — Sgt. First Class Ted Carmichael is facing UCMJ discipline after being caught field stripping for cash tips during his battalion’s 3rd quarter field training exercise.

Class Carmichael was reportedly discovered after senior officers noticed soldiers lining up behind the fuel point to receive his services. Another senior NCO reported watching Carmichael counting dollar bills, which he kept tucked into his boot laces, at his cot.

“Look, what you do in your own time is none of my business,” said Capt. Shauna Crawley, Carmichael’s company commander. “But when it comes into the field and starts impacting the relationship you have with the soldiers you’re supposed to lead? That’s when it becomes an issue.”

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