F-35 Scores Historic First Combat Kill By Shooting Down F-35 Program
BETHESDA, MD — An F-35 Lightning II Joint Strike Fighter made history today by scoring the plane’s first combat kill when it shot down the F-35 program.
“It was exhilarating,” Air Force Major Thomas Bale said after returning to base. “I hate to kill jobs but I can’t help but celebrate. This was an important mission to protect America’s national defense budget.”
The mission was planned after the F-35 program was spotted sitting on an airfield in Maryland. Although the F-35 is a stealth fighter, the additional billions of dollars in cost overruns needed for long range operations made the program easy to find on radar.
The mission was slated for the F-22 Raptor, but Maj. Bale refused to fly the plane. The F-35 was pushed onto the runway as a replacement while its blueprints were still in development.
“Don’t worry, we have plenty of time,” Brigadier General Rick Santos said as the mission plans were changed. “The target has cracks in its engine, it’s not going anywhere.”
Bale took off seven ye…
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