Fat Sailor Claims He’s Overweight Because He Just Eats Too Much

Oct 05, 2022

∙ Paid

BANGOR, Wash. – In a pathetic profession of self-righteous delusion, sources confirmed today that Logistics Specialist 1st Class Gary Thomas claimed he is overweight because he simply “eats too much.”

Thomas – by all accounts a fat, disgusting slob with no business serving in the world’s finest maritime force – failed his third and final body composition…

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