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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

2117 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

First female Commander of 53rd wing comes out of closet as straight

Filed · 1546

EGLIN AIR FORCE BASE, FL - Airman were shocked last week when the Wing Commander of the 53rd Wing came out of the closet as a heterosexual to a packed auditorium during a commander’s call.

Col. Andrea Churchill was previously most notable for her distinction as the first-ever female Wing Commander of the electronic warfare-focused wing, based out of Eglin Air Force Base, Florida. However, that changed on Friday when Churchill briefed the Wing about the possibility of a Reduction in Force during Fiscal Year 2013 and began emphasizing the importance of family for maintaining resiliency during tough times.

At the end of her inspiring speech, a man and three children unexpectedly walked on stage and embraced Churchill, who she later identified as her husband and kids to audible gasps and hushed murmurs from the crowd.

“All I can say is… Wow. I totally didn’t see that coming,” one Airman told Duffel Blog reporters, still looking like he’d been punched in the gut.

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