By Grumpy

WASHINGTON — The Army’s newest two-star general, Maj. Gen. Billy-Bob Bobson V, has been hailed by Army brass and former presidents as “a profoundly wise man” and “a folksy, down-to-earth leader.” But an explosive investigation has found that Bobson is just an idiot, according to sources.

Bobson had been slated to become deputy commanding general for Operations of III Corps at Fort Hood, Texas in early February before allegations of his imbecility surfaced. Army leaders began to wonder about then-brigadier general Bobson in late 2019 when he was serving as an academic dean at West Point.

“We had some researchers come in to give the football team the Wonderlic test,” one West Point administrator said on condition of anonymity since Bobson outranks her and has aides who can read. “You know, the test the NFL misuses to assess players’ intelligence before the draft? Bobson told the football coach the test sounded like ‘a heckuva dang cornpoke’ and asked to take it himself. He scored…