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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

1949 Zulu

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· Page 2

Fort Hood leaders planning Toby Keith concert, cancel command climate survey

Filed · 1550

FORT HOOD, Texas — Amid a heavy media spotlight on Texas Army base Fort Hood, senior leaders from the installation have decided to host country superstar Toby Keith for a concert The country singer is synonymous with love and support of the United States military.

"What better way to shift the spotlight from the negative to the positive?" said Col. Colin Tobin, installation garrison commander. "We've been feeling the heat from every angle and I know a lot of people are upset with the way things have been handled here lately. Nothing will turn that frown upside down like Toby Keith waving the red, white and blue while we shotgun some Bud Light."

"Oh, and we've also canceled the command-climate survey because social distancing makes it impossible to distribute, or something."

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