By Bull Winkle
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Navy’s newest ship may not have the impact on maritime security that senior leaders intended, according to a new gender reveal mine developed by the Naval Weapons Research Laboratory (NRL).
“The thing was just supposed to coat the side of the ship with tinted talcum powder,” said lab spokesman Lt. Cmdr. Frederick Foss at the recent launch of the USS Thomas B. Modly (LCS-32). “Instead, the mine just flashed ‘inert’ for several seconds and drifted back to its holding area. This is more disappointing than last year’s Army-Navy game.”
Foss told reporters that he fears the Modly, an Independence-class Littoral Combat Ship (LCS) and the Navy’s most advanced technology, may experience all the success of the famous Swedish warship, Vasa.
Sources say a new Navy awareness program to bring Navy culture into the 21st century led to the revealing prophecy.
“Launching a ship with a bottle of champagne and calling it a ‘she’ is a relic of the past,” Foss tol…
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