The commander of NATO troops in Afghanistan announced today that his dog Fluffy ate his plan for victory in the conflict before her evening walk yesterday.

Gen. John Nicholson claims that over the weekend he wrote the perfect strategy for winning the United States' longest war. However, when Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Joseph Dunford asked him to turn it in, Nicholson confessed that the Yorkshire Terrier ate it, along with all the previous strategies developed over the past 16 years.

Nicholson says the plan would have defeated the Taliban and ISIS-affiliated groups in the country in "at most a few score fortnights," but the seven-and-one-half pound female got into his files and devoured it at some point after playing with her favorite chew toy.