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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

1227 Zulu

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· Page 2

General Mattis crashes RNC, shreds on triple-neck guitar for grunts in Helmand

Filed · 1546

TAMPA, FL - The Republican National Convention was unexpectedly interrupted last night during Mitt Romney's acceptance speech by an extremely loud guitar solo from CENTCOM Commander General James Mattis.

After having personnel from his headquarters at nearby MacDill Air Force base set up speakers, amplifiers, and a stage outside the convention center, Mattis began "ripping it" on his custom, triple-necked electric guitar which he named "Shock and Awe".

The unexpected appearance was made in response to a challenge issued by Ted Nugent, who was scheduled to play the venue.

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