WASHINGTON — General Paul E. Funk II, Commander of US Army Training and Doctrine Command, released his command philosophy this week. Sources confirm it is just a list of inspirational memes lifted from the social networking site Pinterest.

Reporters acquired a copy of a PowerPoint slide entitled "Funk's Fundamentals" via the Freedom of Information Act. The slide, which contains a whopping 40 bullet points, includes gems dripping with such unselfconscious irony as "Simplicity is a principle of war."

Funk first joined Pinterest while serving as the commander of the 1st Infantry Division in 2013 as a way to promote his direct-sale essential oil business. Soon, however, he began accumulating inspirational quotes by “pinning” them to his own page.