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Generals conduct change-of-command in Afghanistan for roughly 32,435th time

By Duffel Blog Staff · Bureau · 1 minute

Filed 5 October 2022 · 1532

KABUL — The U.S. Resolute Support mission, which oversees NATO forces in Afghanistan, on Wednesday conducted a change of command ceremony for the approximately 32,435th time in the 67-year-old war or whatever the hell it is now, sources confirmed today.

Gen. John W. NoOneEvenCaresAtThisPoint relinquished command to fellow Army Gen. Austin S. NotGonnaWinTheWarEither in a traditional ceremony held at the RS headquarters, amid celebratory gun and mortar-fire directed at the base near downtown Kabul.

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For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Generals conduct change-of-command in Afghanistan for roughly 32,435th time

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