General's Wife To Receive Presidential Medal of Freedom After Playboy Appearance

FORT CARSON, Colo. — The wife of a top U.S. General will be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom Friday after posing as a centerfold in Playboy Magazine to raise awareness for PTSD, the White House has announced.

Mary Lou McGee, the third wife of Gen. Walt McGee, is to receive the award for her dedicated troop advocacy efforts, and more specifically, her attempt to help troops overcome the horrors of war by showing them the wonders of her rack, sources said.

After two failed marriages, Gen. McGee, who commands the 69th Maneuver Support Division, was able to get his hands on a real looker of a wife, who he met while on leave at the Playboy Mansion. After getting married in a Las Vegas chapel, Mary Lou has tried hard to attain credibility with those who think she is nothing other than another trophy wife.

After learning of Playboy's plans to dedicate an issue to the troops, Mrs. McGee's aides made a few phone calls to her former contacts at the offices of Playboy Magazine. Playboy representatives confirmed that Mrs. McGee had offered to donate three percent of her royalties toward what she deemed, "something wonderful like PTSD," only after misunderstanding the acronym to mean, "Pitiful Treatment of Stupid Dependents."

Gen. McGee was jubilant that "[his] smokin' wife would dedicate her time and hotness to a cause like this," he added, "My Mary Lou has a big heart for things like this, but damn she certainly has bigger tits."

Sporting nothing but a kevlar helmet, Mary Lou conducted the photo shoot while suspended off the ground within the harness of an Army T-11 parachute. Officials titled the centerfold, "Thank You For Your Service" as a gesture of gratitude to all those who serve in particular under Gen. McGee.

After the initial release of the magazine, hundreds of thousands signed a petition to have McGee's wife awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

"Knowing that my retirement was coming up pretty quickly I thought, 'fuck it' I have nothing to lose," Gen. McGee said. "I've got a hot wife, a shit ton of money, so I'm smooth sailing and no one can do shit about it."

The White House announced Mrs. McGee would receive the medal for her efforts "as the hottest wife of a general in the United States Army." Vice President Joe Biden would be presenting the award, after First Lady Michelle Obama indicated the president had "a prior commitment if he doesn't want to sleep in the Oval Office for a month."