FORT BENNING, Ga. – Pvt. Matt Davis, an infantryman providing 360 security, reports that the majority of grass in grid square FT1242784962, firing sector 2a, is bending slightly to the left.

“I’ve been watching this sector for close to three hours,” Davis said, “and some grass is more straight, but most of it is definitely bending to the left.”

Davis has taken his time in the prone to consider if there are perhaps different species of grass in his firing sector, which would make it more likely for some grass to bend to the left, but after considering the color and height of each blade of grass, has decided that it is mostly the same grass.

“It must be an uneven heating of the Earth’s surface,” Davis reported after about 90 minutes in the prone. “There’s a temperature variation between the ground and the air. I’m noticing it.”

Davis also reported that there are a lot of ants in firing sector 2a, but maybe not as many as he thought there might be. The ants, which were medium-sized and black…