Great Leader Kim Jong-un sheds honored tears of joy over robust economy

Note: This story was originally published in KCNA-DB, a joint media venture between Duffel Blog and Korean Central News Agency.

PYONGYANG, Korea — A video circulating amongst Koreans aligned with the American Imperialists shows Supreme Leader and Eternal General Secretary of the Party Kim Jong Un crying tears of joy at the glory of the Juche Spirit.

American Imperialist sympathizers, who should be reported to the wonderful State Security Department for superb education in the marvels of communism, have claimed the video shows the Guiding Star of the 21st Century weeping over a so-called “terrible economy and enduring food shortage.” This is clearly Western capitalist propaganda meant to damage the strong bonds forged between the Korean people in the name of liberation.

“It is clear we have enough food,” said Kim Ki-Nam, Vice Chairman for Honorable and True Propaganda. “Any food shortages in a particular area are due to local citizens not embracing the Juche ideal. These people should be found and reported.”

When asked by our reporters about the “terrible economy” claims, those reporters were replaced and this author was told, “The economy is the best economy in the world. Sanctions from the West are obviously an imperialist plot to hinder the greatness of the Korean economy and the Korean people, but they are so far unsuccessful thanks to the enduring skill and wisdom of the Dear Leader.”

Claims that the video show the Supreme Leader panicking about his tenuous grip on power and the worsening state of the economy in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea are lies and deception. Our Great Leader, Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradeship, will crush them as our economy continues to thrive.

Please remember to distribute this paper to your fellow Koreans, not because, as the American Imperialists claim, we cannot afford additional paper and ink, but because sharing knowledge and literature is the heart of our glorious Socialist paradise.