WASHINGTON, D.C — The Departments of Justice and Homeland Security have been embarrassed by revelations that the anonymous cybercriminal "penis" has penetrated their systems and caused a spill, sources have confirmed.

An unknown individual, going by the Twitter username "penis", slipped into a DOJ intranet via a compromised email, after which he stole and dumped online the personal information of more than 5,000 DHS personnel and 20,000 FBI employees.

The attack comes only months after a separate group of hacktivists, Crackas With Attitude, purportedly hacked the personal emails of CIA Director John Brennan and Director of National Intelligence James Clapper. Both offensive actions came with the hashtag #FreePalestine.