Hasbro Announces New, More Realistic G.I. Joe Action Figures

EL SEGUNDO, Calif. – Toy manufacturers are making headlines again, fresh on the heels of Mattel's Barbie Doll™ reboot. This time, Hasbro has announced they will revamp their popular G.I. Joe toy line to more accurately represent today’s service members.

“The G.I. Joe is, first of all, a patriotic toy,” said Hasbro spokesperson Julie Duffy. “For years we’ve had concerns that G.I. Joe presented an unrealistic body image for soldiers, who we know don’t have chiseled chests and neat crew cuts. We ‘let the doll evolve,’ now it’s time to ‘let the action figure evolve.’”

The new G.I. Joe will come out of the box with a tasteful neck tattoo and hands in his pockets, and will be joined by new models including “Can’t Pass Tape,” “Height Waiver” and “Supplement-loving Bro Dawg.” The collector’s edition “Legal Hold,” now with Copenhagen Lip ™, will only be available as part of the Smoke Pit Playset.

Hasbro also announced a brand new toy, the G.I. Jody, whose realistic humping action bumps plastics with Barbie while G.I. Joe is on deployment.

Other members on the GI Joe Team Roster include “Sick Bay Commando,” “Male Ranger School Washout,” and “Slide Master,” who comes with his own bionic carpal tunnel brace.

Mattel plans a future crossover with another of their lines, My Little Pony, to create the G.I. Brony universe. Rumors abound that the line is part of a new animated cartoon, G.I. Brony: Combat is Magic.

Duffel Blog artists Dark Laughter, Lee Ho Fuk and The Wolfman contributed to this story.