EAU CLAIRE, Wis. — Kerry Stranahan went into the abortion clinic expecting a normal, run-of-the-mill vag vacuum, but ended up getting the surprise of her life when her husband, Staff Sgt. Rory Stranahan, was waiting for her in the recovery room.

Stranahan, a wheeled-vehicle mechanic with 1-128 Michigan National Guard, received approval from his commander for an early return after serving in Afghanistan for almost nine months.

“You always see those commercials and YouTube videos where guys surprise their wives at baseball games or county fairs, you know? And those Steel Reserve commercials?” said Stranahan, holding his wife’s hand. “But Kerry’s not into baseball, I only drink obscure hipster craft beers, and the fair isn’t for two more months, so I thought this would be the best opportunity.”

Ms. Stranahan was overjoyed to see her husband, and professed her utter surprise at his early return.

“I was wondering why my mom, my sisters, my priest and fellow parishioners, they all insisted on coming to my procedure and bringing their cameras,” she said, wiping tears of joy away from her cheeks. “I just thought they were being supportive. Now I know, it was to document this joyous occasion.”

The staff at Eau Claire Women’s Discretionary Clinic were in on the joke, and made sure Kerry was fully awake before wheeling her into the recovery ward. They even took their own pictures to adorn the festive bulletin boards in the waiting room.

Protesters picketing outside the clinic were visibly confused at the unusual goings-on, half of them thanking the Stranahans for their service or saluting the couple, and half of them continuing to scream that they were baby killers.

Video of Staff Sgt. Stranahan’s emotional homecoming can be found on YouTube. The Stranahans plan to celebrate his safe return home by starting a family.

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