Morena Baccarin plays Jessica Brody, a character way too attractive to be married to an enlisted Marine.

ARLINGTON, VA — Pentagon officials reacted strongly Monday to the season three premiere of the Showtime series Homeland, complaining that the portrayal of U.S. Marines is extremely offensive, as a spokesman claimed that no service member could marry a woman as hot as Morena Baccarin.

“This show is completely unrealistic,” said Capt. Wyatt Stoneburner. “Seriously, look at her. You think you can land a woman like that on a Sergeant’s salary? Hell no. You’re lucky if you can get a girl under 300 pounds."

“Even worse, the show says they were high school sweethearts," he added. "They would’ve been together since he enlisted. True love conquers all—except an E-1 paycheck. They should have met after he became a war hero or while he was walking around a third world country shouting ‘green card!’ I’d believe that in a heartbeat."

“Do you know how hard it would be to date her?” Stoneburner asked…